Comic predictions are vulgar. Funny predictions and fortune-telling for the new year
All kinds of comic predictions for the New Year 2018 are becoming more and more interesting as the New Year celebrations approach. A fun feast, gatherings with relatives, friends and like-minded people are loved by everyone from young to old, and without jokes that are relevant, fresh and interesting, the company will quickly get bored. The New Year holidays are the time to take stock of the outgoing year and immediately start thinking about the future, at least in the form of jokes.
Funny predictions will be relevant in any company, they invariably cause a positive mood, they should definitely be included in the list of entertainment. So, what awaits us in the coming year, according to comedians? How can you surprise, please all the members of the feast?
Even before the most significant date, they begin to celebrate the New Year in business and labor circles - to meet after the corporate party in the new year. Short comic predictions for the New Year 2018 will help diversify the cultural program, save you from discussing work topics at the festive table. What can you say to colleagues, briefly and aptly?
- Whoever drinks champagne will return without a bonus!
- Whoever the boss kicks out of work - that one has less worries in the new year!
- Do not be in the sight of the boss - so that there is no risk of getting drunk with grief!
- To whom sex is awesome today, that's a billing sheet for tomorrow!
There are several ideas in prose as well. Encourage co-workers to step over the threshold to the boss's office on the left foot in order to get a promotion next year. Promise a good year to employees who can come up with the most original New Year's greetings for the boss. You can distribute predictions non-verbally - write them on pieces of paper and put them in a hat so that each worker can choose one for himself, or make Chinese pies, fortune cookies.
- Hard work in the Year of the Dog will set you back four years to the Year of the Horse!
- A promotion will come in 2018 for sure - your office will be moved a couple of floors higher.
- Be sure to look under your feet, climbing the career ladder - you can slip on the spitting of envious people.
- In the new year, set your alarm clock early, and you will never be late for the office.
Such comic predictions for 2018 will please any team, cause a lot of fun. The main thing is to choose them not spontaneously, but taking into account the real behavior, life, characters of employees - this applies primarily to those predictions that will be announced publicly.
Comic predictions for friends
Corporate events are over, it's time to celebrate the holiday again - this time in a friendly circle. Funny comic predictions for the New Year 2018 Dogs for friends are also relevant, only in a different format than at work. In the circle of comrades, you can express yourself freely, there are no limits here, hardly anyone will remember later sparkling humor not in your favor. What to promise friends for the next year, what predictions will definitely cause laughter? As with colleagues, it is better to think over predictions that will emphasize the lives and characters of people, but will certainly be kind. The purpose of predictions and New Year's jokes is to cheer up, and not spoil it for someone, even if by accident. When preparing for a meeting of guests, you can try to take maximum measures so that specific predictions get exactly to the people to whom they are addressed - arrange them in a certain order, for example.
Properly selected predictions for friends can not only entertain the company - you can cheer up someone close who has life problems, express sympathy - or just kindly laugh at the problem so that it quickly dissipates.
- In the coming year, replenishment is expected in your family - expect new cockroaches in the kitchen!
- The doors of the most luxurious stores will open before you - but the wallet of your soulmate will lose a lot of weight.
- Be more attentive to gifts for loved ones: a frying pan presented to your wife will lead to cones in the new year!
- An amazing discovery awaits you, you will find a treasure - the stash of your husband, who saved it all the past years!
You can endlessly come up with comic predictions for the New Year 2018, the main thing is to really not offend anyone with wishes and jokes. If there is at least some doubt that the prediction will be accepted without offense, you should abandon the idea and limit yourself to simple congratulations. After all, offending loved ones is the worst start to the new year, and quarrels on a holiday are useless.
In what format should it be presented?
It is not so difficult to come up with a lot of congratulations, in prose and in verse, for each family member, friend and employee, if you are inspired by the upcoming holiday. Remembering the character of each of them, the fun events of the past year in which they participated, their dreams for the future, ideas and aspirations, it is quite possible to come up with even a few original wishes for each. But that's not all. You need to think carefully about the format in which the predictions will be presented.
Simply retelling them as part of an entertainment program is not so interesting; in this format, only general wishes and predictions can be attractive. It would be much better to present them in an individual format, and there are several interesting solutions for this.
Baking and treats
As already noted, you can bake cookies with enclosed sheets of paper on which everything you need will be written - Chinese predictions delight everyone. If you plan to bake a pie or cake, you can put a piece of paper under it that matches the shape, with the break lines already prepared, and write on each segment as you wish. Then the guests will be able to cut off pieces of a cake or pie, and receive them with a substrate, on which, accordingly, there will be a prediction. With this approach, the main thing is to warn guests in time that such notes are hidden in food.
Hide in various items
Thinking up a fun show program, you can put notes in vials or bottles, or other items in advance, and hide them around the house in secluded places. And guests are invited to return to childhood and search for a treasure - personal for each of them. Such a game can be fun in nature if you are planning a trip to the New Year's picnic, but it will still be more comfortable at home, for obvious reasons.
Or meet guests in a room filled with balloons. In each of them it is necessary to put a note with a prediction in advance and inflate. Each guest will be able to choose a balloon, burst it, and read the treasured letter. This option will also bring a lot of positive.
Or you can decorate the Christmas tree with homemade paper toys created in the origami style, for example. Each toy can be unrolled to read the prediction - and let all the guests come to the tree to choose their future for the coming year.
If you think about it and treat the issue with creativity, you can come up with many ways to arrange, hide and present a note to the addressees, making it original and beautiful. But you can approach the issue from the other side.
Present with words
If a grandiose show program is planned, a performance will be played out, it is quite possible to find a place for predictions within its framework, and even single out a special character who will tell all guests about the future. A costumed gypsy fortune-teller will cause a real sensation in the team, probably aimed at waiting for the Snow Maiden with Santa Claus, she will be able to “fortune-tell by hand”, “look into a crystal ball”, recite predictions in verse and create a special atmosphere. She can name both general predictions for the team, and personal predictions for each of those present. You can also entrust this role to Santa Claus himself, this will also be quite an appropriate move.
New Year's predictions are a long tradition, and girls to this day tell fortunes at Christmas time to find out their future. So why not introduce her to the New Year holidays in the form of an intricate joke that will please everyone and add positive? Such entertainment with predictions will be appropriate in any team from friendly to quite official, it will not only cheer you up, but also cheer you up, and will also become an incentive to think about the future and plan your achievements in the coming year - already for yourself and in all seriousness, then after the holidays. After all, every person wants so much that the best expectations and warm predictions, albeit comic ones, come true at least in part!
Many people believe in horoscope predictions, signs, omens, superstitions. The practice of predictions is several thousand years old. What were the prophecies of the Delphic oracle, to which even the kings turned. Witches and prophets were able to "read" the fate of people in the palm of their hand, dreams, natural phenomena, events and omens. Today, for the most part, predictions for the future are perceived as comic, but they also make you think, change behavior and perception.
In the East, there is still a tradition of serving fortune cookies. Allegedly, a person can stretch his fate. Comic predictions, short and funny, can be great entertainment for a fun company. The person who prepared such “instructions” for the future for friends aims to cheer up, please the guests, and give a charge of positive emotions.
Comic predictions can be in verse and prose, have a direct meaning or carry an allegory. Of course, you should not take the predicted seriously, these are still cool, comic predictions. What can you wish for the future and how interesting to arrange? We offer several original examples.
Comic predictions for the future in verse
From payday to payday, life just keeps getting better!
Quit moping and upset
You need to smile more.
Who goes into the world with a smile,
Tom is lucky in all matters.
Wait another six months, you will find happiness in life!
There are only a couple of moments left before the summer, and there, as expected, a lot of fun!
Tomorrow, do not rush, but do not relax,
Get ready to work, but don't overwork yourself.
Save energy until the evening
To make the party fun.
Look around, you see - people are smiling.
These are true friends who rely on!
Go with your husband to the store - he received a salary!
Keep your nose to the wind and your tail to the gun.
Let the solution of the question "glass half empty or half full" be the only difficulty in your life!
From next week, every day will feel like Friday to you.
Don't have a hundred roubles, but have a hundred friends with a hundred roubles.
Learning is light, don't forget to take a flashlight.
Smile - it irritates everyone!
Tomorrow there will be a holiday on your street, do not miss the moment!
If life puts spokes in the wheels, it's time to take a walk.
Dreaming of a vacation? Dreams Come True!
Finally, you will receive the minister's salary. The main thing is that the minister should not be against it.
- The classic option is shell cookies. Knead the most common lean dough (it will bake faster). Roll out the cake, cut the same circles. Place prepared predictions on small pieces of paper in the center of each circle of dough. Now blind "dumplings" by folding them in the shape of a shell. Place the cookies in the oven for a few minutes to bake the dough.
- Place your wishes on long narrow strips of paper. Roll each into a roll. Attach candy to one end. Put it all in a candy bowl, mix.
- Wishes themselves can be wrapped in the same sweets under the label.
- Roll up rectangular sheets of colored paper (10x10 cm) with wishes into a tube. Tie each bundle with colored ribbon. For a beautiful presentation of wishes, find a beautiful vase.
- Decorate cardboard cards 6x8 cm beautifully, in the center of each write what you want. Cover the surface with a thin layer of colorless nail polish (to make it glossy). As the varnish dries, paint over the area with the text with a white clerical proofreader. To read the wish, you need to erase the white layer with a coin. Instead of a corrector, you can take PVA glue by adding a little paint to the solution.
- You can prepare miniature fabric bags and place notes with wishes in them. As well as decorated matchboxes, chocolate egg toy cases, plastic spinning balls, decorative perfume bottles with a cork. In general, there is no limit to the design fantasies.
- If you work hard and hard in the new year, you will receive a reward in the form of a bonus.
- If you get up early in the new year, you will never be late for work.
- You can’t work like a horse in the year of the pig - this will set you back a whole year. If you choose a TV channel for watching on New Year’s Eve for a long time, you will wake up on January 1 with a remote control in your hands.
- New Year of the Pig - good for those who like to sleep. Count the stars and sleep like a baby.
- On the morning of January 1, leave the entrance and look to the left - you will see a bright and brilliant future.
- How many Olivier peas you eat - so many wishes will come true in the new year.
- Champagne drunk on the morning of January 1 will remind you of the past year.
- A hat lost on January 1 - to buy a new one.
- A frying pan given to his wife for the new year - to a bump on his forehead. A fur coat - to love and understanding.
- Passion in the new year for cakes and chocolates - to update the wardrobe.
- In the new year, you will be promoted at work - your office will move to the floor above.
- In the new year, you will find many new, exciting ... household chores.
- Giving your wife a piece of jewelry for the new year, you provide yourself with a well-fed life for a whole year.
- After such a delicious New Year's treat, you will fight off guests all year.
- To be a big boss for you in the new year - you will gain 50 kg.
- In the new year, your pragmatic interest will grow into a romantic passion.
- In the new year you will meet great love. Very large. Kilograms so 120, no less.
- In the coming year, avoid the cold from the second half. And you will be sick all year long.
- Soaring up the career ladder this year, look under your feet so that there are no dizzying consequences.
- Keep clean. Wash my hands before eating. If your hands are dirty, you will get contagious diseases.
- In the morning, after the New Year's feast. Watch out for a hard hit. Getting on the scales.
- In the new year, boldly move forward - and wealth awaits you.
- A visit to the fitness club and swimming pool in the first quarter of the coming year - to the envious glances of girlfriends in the next two quarters.
- For those who are keen on fishing, fishing happiness will come in the new year. Will open close to home
- shop "Fish and seafood". There will always be a catch to report to his wife.
- In the new year, you will have everything you wish for. And you won't get anything for it. New, exciting journeys are waiting for you ... to the country. Do not be upset - this is also a change of scenery.
- A strong explosion is expected this year - all your envious people will burst.
- In the coming year, all the doors of ... supermarkets and boutiques will open for you. And the husband's thick wallet will lose weight a lot.
- This year you will find a treasure ... Find your husband's stash, which he saved up all last year.
- In the new year you will learn a lot of new and useful things. You will be given an encyclopedia.
- In the new year you will be attacked. Luck and success will attack you and you will not be able to fight them off.
- Watch out. Very soon. Very soon. Big… love awaits you.
- Your creative successes as a make-up artist of your own face will be noticed this year by many men.
- Your charm and beauty in the new year are preparing a happy meeting for you.
On New Year's Eve, the closest and most beloved people gather to have fun with the old one and, in anticipation of something unknown and new, meet the coming year.
Not a single festive New Year's fun is complete without nice gifts, surprises, contests, toasts and incendiary dances.
Entertainment programs often contain comic predictions for the new year.
Of course, after all, New Year's Eve is the best time to make wishes and ask fate questions that excite the soul. New Year's predictions make an already magical holiday unforgettable and wonderful.
How can you funny present funny prophecies for the New Year?
First you need to come up with some good predictions for the coming year for all the guests who will gather at the festive table. It is desirable that there be more prophecies than planned guests. Suddenly, someone else will look at the light. And the last person who decides to find out what awaits him in the future will be much more pleasant to make a choice from several options, and not drag the only remaining piece of paper "according to the residual principle."
Another important point: all invented predictions should be positive, sincere, diverse. The New Year is a good holiday and everyone wants to think that only good things await him ahead.
You can beat predictions in different ways. For example, write them on bright pieces of paper and stick them with tape to Christmas decorations so that the text is not visible. When the time comes for New Year's fun, you can invite the guest to choose any ball or figurine and read the prophecy intended for him loudly, with expression.
And you can also bake cookies “with a secret”, having previously invested a fateful piece of paper in each of them. Another option is to take a sheet of drawing paper and pin leaflets in the form of stars, Christmas tree decorations and Christmas socks to it.
However, you should not write off the good old bag, hat or box either. To make these things magical, they need to be beautifully decorated: glue silver foil stars, rain, tinsel, snowflakes cut out of paper and sprinkle this magnificence with glitter hairspray. Put crumpled predictions inside and ask each of those present to pull out one such “bomb”.
Examples of New Year's comic predictions
- This year will bring many new opportunities. You just need to notice them and try not to miss them. Look at both!
- Life is unpredictable. Trouble may be waiting for you at every corner, but somehow they can be miraculously avoided. In addition, it will add a little life experience, which is so necessary in difficult situations.
- Every moment of life is important, like every brick in the house. Therefore, do not lose sight of the little things of everyday life, because they are full of happiness.
- “Meet the new day with a smile” - this is the motto that you must adhere to in the new year. After all, as you know, a smile improves mood, and with a good mood, any trouble is not a problem.
New Year's comic predictions in poetic form
- Prepare your heart
His mad love awaits. - Luck smiles on you
Like a summer ray of sunshine. - Include a plan in your life -
A burning novel. - Many adventures await you
And a sea of thrills. - There will be changes in fate -
Expect an addition to the family. - The year will please with a new one -
Could be new renovation. - When you say no to depression, blues,
You will be on a horse for a whole year. - An abyss of happiness awaits you -
Get tires for the car. - There is no time to be bored:
You will welcome guests all year round. - Great progress awaits you -
Chic, fashionable Mercedes.
New Year's comic predictions may be of various kinds and character. The main thing is that they cheer up your guests and bring only positive emotions.
Sources of information
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Time passes quickly, and the New Year holidays are just around the corner. To entertain your guests on a festive New Year's Eve, and not let them get bored after a hearty dinner, organize a game with comic predictions for the New Year 2019. There are several varieties of such games, you can choose the one that best suits your company. "Fateful" predictions can also be in different forms, for example, astrological or comic predictions in verse.
It's no secret that each of us expects something amazing, new acquaintances, new experiences, meetings with friends and relatives. We are all waiting for a miracle on New Year's Eve. And it doesn’t matter at all how old a person is, because somewhere deep in our souls we all remain children.
Every year, following an old tradition, we raise our glasses and make wishes to the chiming clock. Good wishes for the coming year are heard everywhere. Think, how else can you surprise friends and relatives? How to congratulate them, wish them all the best, and even entertain them, approaching the matter in an original and humorous way? On New Year's Eve, use comic predictions for 2019.
Comic predictions for 2019 in poetic form
Put prophecy notes in the balloons, and then inflate the balloons. Each guest will choose a balloon, pop it, and read their comic prediction aloud. You can choose any style of a cheerful prophecy, but the main thing is that each prediction sounds optimistic, and that no one is offended. Comic predictions in verse will sound quite good and even original.
Here are some examples of the text of such funny, comic predictions in verse:
Lots of events await you.
And interesting trips -
On courses, on vacation, abroad -
Where will fate decide!
You have to, friends, and henceforth
Burn with creative work.
But you won't burn your wings,
Take care of your health!
You will enter the cream of society
Perhaps you can find a sponsor.
Your hairstyle, appearance
We will all be pleasantly surprised.
Since then you will continue
Everything is getting better and younger!
Love will brighten your days
And they become bright.
All your life in winter and summer
Magically lit up with light.
In fact, “prophecies” can be anything, but there is one requirement that must be met: “prophecies” and wishes must be extremely positive. People do not need to wish for illness and loss of money, even as a joke!
Here are more comic predictions in verse for the upcoming 2015 in the original couplets:
Everything will be fine in life
Especially on the personal front!
Good budget addition
Waiting for you during the summer!